The Succulent
I want to ask you a question. How many of you have ever looked at a houseplant, promised yourself you would take care of it, and then accidentally turned it into a pile of crispy brown dust?
It's okay. You can be honest. This is a safe space.
There is hope for us. The universe has given us a gift! The succulent!
Succulents are touted to thrive on neglect. Wow! You think, finally, a living organism customized to my specific level of disorganization and laziness.
But beware of the big lie, that being that succulents are hard to kill. Many of us have purchased a succulent and maybe put it on our desk at work or a windowsill at home.
We may have even named it something cute, like "Spike" or "Prickly Pete" and then entered the emotional rollercoaster of succulent ownership.
Normal plants will give you a heads up that they need water. Not the succulent—and succulents don't die like other plants. They die with drama. It usually happens with the mushy melt. You give the succulent a tiny sip of water. Just one. The next day it looks a little sad. You give it another sip the size of a single teardrop. Then the entire plant turns into a clear, gooey puddle of slime like jelly.
Succulent watering can be a logistical challenge.
Succulents have another quirk, that is light. You put the plant on a windowsill. It decides it wants more sun. Instead of growing big and beautiful, it grows taller and thinner, and weirder. It stretches out until it looks like a green alien finger reaching out to touch your soul.
In conclusion, succulents are one of the few living things that punish you for caring about them too much. The takeaways are two:
1. If you water a succulent too much, it will leave this world.
2. Turn the plant occasionally so it doesn't weirdly stretch to sunlight.
So, to each Spike or Prickly Pete, we promise not to smother you with care.
References: Succulents – Gardening Solutions
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